Not only is it Super Bowl season, it’s Oscar season, and we could think of no better time to offer our casting services for “Super Bowl XLVII: The Movie” than the present. This has been an NFL season to remember (unless, of course, you’re a Philadelphia Eagles fan), and one that demands we continue the rich history of successful ensemble-cast movies. You know, films like “The Longest Yard” (the Adam Sandler version), “Valentine’s Day” and “Grown Ups.” Because everyone knows there’s no better way to completely distract viewers from a lame story line and weak script than some big-name celebrities, without further adieu, we present the cast of next year’s sure-fire Oscar-winning best picture:

BALTIMORE RAVENS

Let’s face it, The Ravens are not America’s most-liked team. Maybe it’s because Baltimore is a small-market town better known for providing the setting to great HBO drug culture dramas. Or maybe it’s because their captain, linebacker Ray Lewis, was charged with murder 13 years ago, pleaded guilty to obstruction of justice in exchange for his testimony against his friends (who were acquitted), and then reached settlements (with a confidentiality clause, of course) with the victims’ family members in civil court. He’s not the only Raven who’s had his trouble with the law. Regardless, movies need villains, and we think these guys fit the bill.

Who better to play the owner of the bad guys than “” one of Hollywood’s most disliked figures? We considered Alec Baldwin, but he’ll probably wind up in half of the actual Super Bowl’s commercials. In all fairness, Bisciotti seems like a nice enough guy: self-made billionaire husband and father of two who grew up in the Baltimore suburbs and bought his hometown football team. But something about seeing him cuddle up with Lewis after the last week just seemed … creepy. And if anyone knows creepy, it’s Mel.

Kyle Chandler might seem like a relatively unknown choice to play the boyish-looking Ravens head coach, but not to those who’ve been to the theaters lately. Not only has he appeared in two highly-decorated films this year — Golden Globe-winner “Argo” and the Oscar-nominated “Zero Dark Thirty” — this is an actor who cut his chops playing the role of Coach Eric Taylor for five seasons of NBC’s “Friday Night Lights.” Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.

This is a blockbuster movie and we need some blockbuster talent. We’re hoping Ben gets back to choosing his acting projects poorly (see: “Reindeer Games,” “Gigli,” “Jersey Girl”), because we need some star power at quarterback. Daniel Day-Lewis won’t return our phone calls for some reason, we don’t know which Joaquin Phoenix would show up and Zachary Quinto (Spock 2.0) isn’t a big enough name yet. Ben’s our guy. Well, either Ben or this guy.

The outspoken, unquestionable leader of the team deserves an actor who can somehow keep himself out of trouble amid a flurry of investigations. The man who played Stringer Bell, the thoughtful, cut-throat, business-minded leader of drug lord Avon Barksdale’s Baltimore crew in HBO’s “The Wire,” was made for this role. While we considered Old Spice guy Terry Crews, Lewis is a complex character that calls for a complex actor — or at the very least a British one.

Now we’re talking. A box-office name with game. Not only does Foxx have football experience (he played football at Terrell High School in Texas), he starred alongside Al Pacino as quarterback Willie Beamen in “Any Given Sunday.” (Did we mention we’re continuing the great tradition of ensemble cast movies?) Dr. Dre was considered for the role, but at 47 he’s a bit old to play the dynamic Ravens running back. Don’t tell Eminem, but we had to forget about Dre.

Another actor from the Baltimore-based “The Wire,” Coleman played “Cutty” Wise, a reformed criminal trying to help the community by opening a boxing gym. But he also has experience in a football role, starring as O.J. Simpson in the 2002 TV movie, “Monday Night Mayhem.” Reed doesn’t have the off-the-field baggage that some of his defensive teammates have, but Coleman has the look down. And if he’s not available, we have this guy on speed dial.